Interview with a Mouse: Vladimir the Vampire Mouse

Interview with a Mouse: Vladimir the Vampire Mouse

This month’s interview with a mouse is with Vladimir the Vampire Mouse and it is with some trepidation that I sit myself down at the fireplace in his ancient castle. The warmth from the flames dancing in the hearth calm my nerves. I’m so entranced by watching the flames when when Vladimir silently appears next to me, that I let out a little squeak of surprise.

Ehem… Hello Vladimir, thank you so much for inviting me to your home.

He settles himself into a large high backed leather chair opposite me, gazing at me with his piercing black eyes.

“You are most velcome my dear, I alvays enjoy meeting new people. So many diverent vlavours of personality out zere to sample, erm… I mean, get to know.”

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Well Vladimir, today I am here to get to know you. Are all the stories of crucifixes, stakes and sunlight true?

Vladimir chuckles to himself quietly before responding.  “Oh my dear, most ov what you read in ze comics and novels out zere is utter rubbish, but I do love to read it! I hav bookcases vol of every book on vampires I can vind! It’s zuch vun to read the stories zat ze mortals have made about our existence, it’s the best comedy out there! Ze idea zat a simple piece of vood vill kill me iz ludicrous! I am much tougher than that. And don’t even get me started on the glitter!”

Vladimir tries hard to suppress a laugh, but it is too much for him and he cackles out loud before he can stop himself. After a few moments he regains his composure.

“Crucifixes alzo vill not kill me. Alzough I ‘ave been caught a mouse-trap in my time…” he says, his eyes growing paler “The experience didn’t kill me, but it vas not somzing I vish to repeat!”

Oh really? What happened?

Vladimir realises he has said too much. “I do not vish to talk about it.” he replies, with a dangerous look in his eyes.

I notice the fireplace no longer crackles with the warmth of flickering light. The shadows in the room begin to creep closer and I am struck with a strong desire to get myself out of here as quickly as possible.

Well Vladimir, I think I have taken up enough of your time. Thank you again for allowing me into your castle. I’ll be leaving now.

“Yes, I vink vat vood be vor ze best” replies Vladimir as I do my best to leave calmly, before breaking into a run as soon as I am out of the doorway.


(Happy Halloween from The House of Mouse!)

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